Love is Not Easy...But It's Worth It

Just like the title says love is not easy. Sometimes it is the hardest, scariest thing you will ever do. If you think you have loved wait until you become a parent and you will be hit with a new form of love that can not be easily explained. You love someone that is truly 100% dependent on you for all things even as they begin to walk, talk, and make their own decisions. Love can hurt when your child says, I'm too old for kisses mama." Love is scary when you let your child spend their first night away from home, their first day of school, first date, first "real" girlfriend, etc. Love is unconditional and no matter what your child says, does, or acts you still love them with all their heart. Last night we had a real conversation that has been a long time coming. Our oldest Ricky was born to us when we were 14 and 17 years old. He was a sick baby to say the least but he powered through with us there by his side at every moment. He was and still is an amazing drummer. He has so much musical talent oozing from him it is crazy. He was always and still is at the top of his class in testing and overall achievement. He is so active in lots of things that we sit in awe at how he can go to football practice at 6:30am, attend school and make straight A's, soccer practice after school til 6, study for Joshua's Law, and work on the weekends. He never lets his guard down so to know that something is wrong with him is like finding a needle in a haystack. Well last night we found the needle. See even though Ricky is amazing and strong he also has a breaking point just like you and I. This soon to be 16 year old is under a lot of stress and instead of talking to his parents he has tried to shelter us from it because he feels we have enough stress on us. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and never once did we see it. He has felt like the 3rd wheel in the family and felt that our lives were messed up because we had him so young. This is the farthest thing from the truth. We talked til 11pm last night reassuring our son that he was the best thing that happened to us and that no matter what he says, does, or how he acts we will always love him because he is a part of us. We told him that we know what it feels like to fail and how hard it is to come back from a failure that we work hard to make sure he does not have to experience that. We do things for him that we wished as kids we had. We told him that he is our son from the day he was born til the day God calls us home and even then he will still be ours. We told him how proud we are of him for all the things he does and how he accomplishes everything he puts his mind to. Last night was nothing we expected to happen but it was well needed. Our son needed his parents to be by his side and help him and we did that. Our son was crying for much needed one on one attention and he received it. Children do not come with a manual and most of the time we handle things incorrectly but last night I think we got it right for a change. Ricky now knows to infinity and beyond that his parents love, adore, and admire him and that will never change. He knows that the stress he has he can talk to us about it and that we don't expect him to do all these things that cause stress. He knows that school work comes first and everything else is a choice. He knows that no matter what everyday he will come home to a family that will love him for who he is, help him, encourage him, and help him get back on track. At the end of the day our son knows that his mom and dad love him unconditionally and nothing will change that. Ricky were NOT and never will be a mistake. You are our son and we love you to the moon and back. You are an amazing, smart, helpful, courteous, kind, loving, sweet, handsome, friendly, son, friend, brother, etc. We love you.