January 14th
Today I am thankful for being a mom. Today I saw my son confused, frustrated, and hurt and I was able to help him. Caiden is our youngest and he has been my test from God. He and Ricky are night and day. Ricky was our quiet one. Always did what we told him (until now---teenagers). Caiden is our temper tantrum, rambunctious, daredevil. We always knew he was different. He had trouble starting in daycare and he still struggles today. Back in September Caiden was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and then in October he was diagnosed with ADHD. Asperger's Syndrome is a high functioning autism. Caiden looks just like any other child; however, he struggles in many areas of life. He has to have extra attention to help him understand concepts. He is very literal in his thinking and has trouble understanding what concepts unless they are literal. To Caiden everything is black or white/ round or square/ slow or fast----to him there is no middle area. He has struggled alot in school with behavior mostly because he gets frustrated and then acts out. This week he had a bad note Mon, Tues, and Wed. So tonight after church we talked about what happened and he was grounded until Sunday from his video games, ipad, and phone. When he heard this he sat quiet for a minute and began to cry. When I asked why he was crying he said "It's not fair to my brother." I said what is not fair. He said "I get grounded for 3 days but Ricky got grounded for 7." Poor child he was upset not because he was in trouble but because he and his brother did not receive the same punishment. (see i told you in Caiden's mind there is no grey area). We stayed in the kitchen talking for over 30 minutes---mostly me talking and Caiden crying. I had to explain that Ricky is older and should know better and that the punishment has to fit the crime---so for bigger crimes the punishment will be longer. Caiden then feels that he is stupid and not smart in school. I explained that he is not stupid, he just thinks differently than others. I told him God made him special and chose our family to send him to us. I told him that God doesn't make mistakes and he knew exactly what he was doing when he created Caiden. More crying ensued and I even began to cry. I was at a lost for what to do so I said "Do you want to pray with me." Caiden said yes and then he wanted to pray in the morning as well. I hugged him tight and rubbed his head as tears still streamed down his face and I prayed over my little boy. I prayed that God would enter his heart, mind, and soul and help him see that he was not mistake and that everything God made him for was good. I prayed that God would help him through the day to make good choices. A since of calm came over him and he was ok. Thursday morning we prayed before the bus arrived and he had a good day on Thursday and Friday. This was a good time for me. I was able to see my child hurting and step in to help him. I could have taken a different route but I knew he needed me. I am now in the process of trying to get him extra help in school. People look at Caiden and think he is a problem child or hyper. They don't understand the world is his playground and he wants to explore every single inch and crevice and it drives him insane if he can't. They don't see a child that is incredibly smart and has a photographic memory---they see a child that is disruptive and combative. My son has Asperger's and I am going to fight to give him the future that he deserves and that God had planned for him all along because that's what mom's do.
